The winter semester had ended
And now came time to study
For this boy was to be a doctor
A brand new MCAT book as his buddy

 
Hours on end he would stay studiously
With a duaa after each and every prayer
With Allah on his side, with every little stride
He was mentally and spiritually prepared
 

This boy wanted to live the dream
MSA president, doctor, beautiful wife
Checking his niyaah as he virtually endured
The perfect little muslim life…

 
Closer and closer the MCAT came
And he found himself working harder
The more the challenges came, the more he stayed sane
As he drove his difficulties farther

Soon it was the night before the MCAT
And he was sitting under the moon to pray
“Oh Allah, I have worked so hard for you”
“Please give me great strength on this day”

 
The big day came, and it was time to show off
All the preparations are ready to be utilized
Blitzing through the gauntlet, he finished his exam
Relieved as much as he was surprised

 
“That exam was tough, but I know I did well”
“Allah (swt) has always got my back”
“I made so much duaa and checked my intentions”
“I know I’m on the right track”

And soon came the results 6-8 weeks later
Nervously he opened the letter
The surprise of the grade, he failed so miserably
I thought I’d done much better?!”

 
That night was long as he stared at the sky
“How could I have done so bad???”
“I trusted you, Allah, and this is what you give?”
“Oh, how you have made me so sad!”

 
“Why should I bother to even pray to you”
“When you couldn’t even protect me from this exam”
“I probably would have done better if i…”
“Would’ve not prayed at all and just crammed”


And that was the night that he decided to skip prayers
Out of sadness, out of anger, out of spite
He forgot about Allah, His mercy, and faith
He forgot about everything he thought was right

 
This sadness grew and the boy lived terribly
His dreams of life had completely been shattered
He had no motivation to study, no will to live
Nothing in his world just seemed to matter

 
And then the boy reached to unthinkable heights
When he stole his friend’s father’s gun
The bullets were ready inside as he couldn’t confide
The trust of any God or anyone

 
The nightmare was becoming an instilment of reality
As he cocked the gun to the bottom of his chin
Click went the trigger
Click went the action…
Boom… as he dropped the gun away from sin

 
He stared at it in amazement of what happened
Thinking about the seerah as he sat
Although Allah is Al-Hayul Qayyuum (The eternal controller)
The Prophet (PBUH) had nothing to do with his MCAT

 
And the boy realized how stupid he was
To question Allah’s eternal hikmah
For it is destiny and wisdom that He so greatly brings
Understanding it is the key to our own taqwah

 
The major key to this story is understanding the need
The need for us to have faith in all seasons
Have faith in our moments, whether happy or sad
For everything that happens, does so for a reason…

He's been at it a long time
Time to put this game to rest
With every stanza comes a written rhyme
The words expressing what they do best

A seasoned veteran to this crush fame
A spotlight that one should retire
No more playing that desperate desperate game
Of being the lover that oh so aspires

Pictures lie in ways words always fail
They deceit any eyes' romantic thirst
Losing oneself in an infatuous trail
Losing those intentions that should come first

Imagination can drown a titanic sized heart
One thats been searching for many years
Slowly it creeps and plays its painful part
In a role only meant to shed tears

But who says a victim doesn't set themself up
To enter a battle with predictable defeat?
Strangling to the hope that she might like his stuff
And that one day his goal may complete

Everyday he'll write, he'll think, and he'll stare
Wondering about the infinite opportunities
With poems about her talk, her eyes, and her hair
Accompanied by doodles of hearts and sweets

Poor boy, how he wears his heart on his sleeves
And how the whole world thinks they know his trouble
How they'll talk and gossip, becoming character thieves
But eventually, he will grow out of this bubble

Until then, he'll keep at it, his life and then some
How his faith will help him avoid the wrath
Because one day, that girl will finally come
All he needs to do is tread the path...

Just needs to tread the path...

Standing in a night,

full of misery and fright,

I think it will be observed in sorrow

Looking at a shooting star,

sitting happily in my car,

hoping luck would let me borrow

Staring at the moonlight,

in this cold awful night,

wondering if I should make it follow

Thinking about this sight,

how it seems just so right,

the perfection had made me hollow

I had written this letter,

to make me feel better,

to fulfill the hope that you may someday read

The thoughts in this cold heart,

flowing there from the start,

transferred completely to this seed

You may want to but you cant,

put in a fresh spring plant,

just to let my love grow indeed

Or you may ignore it in the ground,
like that falling tree sound,

After time you let it turn into weeds

I wish a glance to your eyes,

Would cause me to realize,

The thought of how much I truly miss

The explosions buried inside,

And how they wanted to hide,

my uninspired lovesick bliss

How I waited until I could gather,

More courage than Dan Rather,           

To get up and finally offer you a kiss

How I had been counting this day,

Where I could discover the way,

to show you something truer than this

Painfully existing this life,

With my values up so high,

How my parents made me a fool to try

Until the moment where I stand,

with this letter in my hand,

or how my feelings could live or die

And with the words that deceive,

on the paper you may believe,

how everything sounds like a lie

But I truly despise,

all the awkward sighs,

how wrong it is to say good bye

With every moment I edge closer,

my anticipation wants to show her,

waiting for her to answer the door

How my heart wants to race,

with my imaginative face,

I have no idea what’s in store

But you opened the lock,

when I’m standing in shock,

how my breathing functions no more

I drop it in your hands,

like the hourglass sands,

to finish performing my daunting chore

With my eyes on the road,

Before staring at your abode,

I slowly pull my car away

The letter in your grasp,

my feelings had collapsed,

you were holding what I wanted to say

How it took me years,

to show you any of my tears,

oh how I waited for this day

And I left you forever,

searching for new endeavors

I love you I wish i couldve stayed

The last thing I saw,

how the dropping of her jaw,

caused tears to cover her eyes

I wish I was there,

so that we could’ve shared,

the love we didn’t want to try

She loved me right back,

but I was too stupid to track,

the clues she had left in surprise

And I drove away,

unaware to this day,

how fear had changed both our lives...

Dear Organic Chemistry

            I write this letter to give you thanks

            Because you have successfully ruined my life

            If you were a real living person I'd understand

            The reason you live alone without a wife

            You have driven me mad with your reactions

            And the mechanisms I had to memorize

            Because of you I chose to pursue a different career

            One where I could deliver burgers and fries

            I remember the days before I was exposed

            Days where I could actually see sunlight

            I remember when I could enjoy my family

            Or the times when I could sleep at night

            But thanks to you, all I do now is study

            Everything I see and do is an organic action

            Like the nutrition label of my Gatorade bottle

            Where all I saw were Electrolyte reactions

            My mother worries when I tell her facts

            Of how biriyani has too many double bonds

            But thanks to my buddies Allen and Decamp

            Organic Chemistry is the only way I respond

            But its all good Orgo, No hard feelings

            Because I think you actually enjoy this pain

            You love the attention the night before an exam

            And the way you drive people mentally insane

            So heres to you Organic Chemistry

            Thanks again for ruining my life

            I think if you existed as a real life person

            I’d be in jail for stabbing you with a knife

                                                                              Sincerely,

                                                                              Shan Ali Siddiqi

Its this feeling inside that gets me to hide

The worthlessness above when I don’t feel love

Like the turtle whose torture is living inside his shell

I still dream of freedom, something I can’t feel too well

The nights I sleep the nothingness away

But yet in the morning I still feel the same way

Have you ever wanted to die just to be born again?

You’d think this disease was nothing more than men

The pathetic fool inside thought he could wait it out

Was the person I killed, when this change came about

For better or for worse, the situation grows too deep

As I sink away from years from unremorsed sleep

Its funny how these words  can cause little emotion

How each and every letter can cause so much erosion 

And once its over, you can all go back and live the lives He gave

Its not like I wanted a reaction or two, just the chance to be saved

The depression came and dropped me to this empty swimming pool

Just because I wanted so much, doesn’t mean I could break your rules

And why do these words mean so much? When I could write just random thoughts

Whosoever tries to understand the death, the end to have fought

Of course I’m fine, I have my life, and everything He ever chose

Yet I’m sitting in my basement, cold and alone, experiencing comatose

Good night and good luck to all who wish to try and save my life

There was no sweeter ending than my heart kissing the knife

I’ve had dreams of worshipping my lord

Of how I’ve wasted my life being bored

I’ve had dreams of what I want myself to be

Of how I desire the need and wants of society

I’ve had dreams of paradise and heaven

The simple pleasures of life at age seven

I’ve had dreams of the person I wanted to love

And how I’ve shifted that love to the one above

I’ve dreamt the sleep of an eternal insomniac

The advice our world leaders seem to lack

I’ve dreamt about life I want to live

And the dreams God has chosen to give

I’ve dreamt the changes we make to this world

And the way boys my age change for a girl

I’ve dreamt about holding my own child in my arms

The day where all countries give up their arms

To dream about a day where I can learn to love Islam

The day I won’t think twice about doing haraam. 

We’ve all had these dreams to be on top or the best

But when time passes us by is it the dream taking a rest?

My dreams suffocate in this life cold air

The warm thoughts I had turn into despair

When I cope to dream about what I had lost

To get back my imagination at that steep cost

My dreams of warmth and peaceful normality

Has me waking up to feel the cold reality

And that’s when I want to go dream….